DAY TWENTY SIX ~ MEETING TWENTY SIX
SURRENDER
The topic from today's meeting came from Lifeline Magazine, April 2003, page 4. It said:
"I gained 60 pounds in three months...that was when I surrendered to my Higher Power at the doors of Overeaters Anonymous, and my recovery began."
I still haven't surrendered. I want to...I act "as if", but I cannot seem to really surrender (I can't even become willing to surrender) myself to God. I still want that control. I don't know what it is that is holding me back but I am struggling terribly with this.
I am working step two and can't get the part that says "could restore us to sanity". I don't think that HP would think I am even worth the trouble. In this process of trying to work through this step and trying to become willing to believe that He will help me, I have abandoned Him once again. Only for a few days, but I have noticed the difference in my life. So, why can't I surrender (or become willing to believe) if I can very clearly see these differences when I let Him in from when I don't?
Until tomorrow ~
I'm Kim
© Copyright 2003 THE ODAT GROUP All rights reserved
