I easily recognize the effects compulsive eating has on my body. My mind has always been a bit nutty and I am sure that the compulsive overeating has not helped at all with making me saner. My tender spiritual beliefs are what have really suffered and I am finding that I don't want the old beliefs back because they weren't healthy to begin with.
Growing up, I was sent to church and just did what I was supposed to. My parents never really enforced me going after a certain point and I always felt guilty when the church would do something nice for me, like give me a bible for graduation, etc. I never really developed my own beliefs until I got older and "realized" (or so I thought) that God had never been there for me in all my life. He "allowed" all those bad things to happen to me. That was about the extent of my spirituality. I thought that if there was a God, then why? and I just seethed with anger towards Him. It was easier to believe that there was no God, no higher power for me.
I don't want those beliefs back in any way and today I am grateful that I had the opportunity to find God. I am right now working through a study guide that is helping me to get a better understanding of God and to build a better relationship with Him. I almost have to thank my illness for this because I don't know if I ever would have truly found Him without the need to ask Him for help and without the steps to guide me to Him.
Until tomorrow ~