Dear Serendipity Readers,

Amateur Day is over and the holiday eating orgies are about to begin. We hear so many stories of frustration during the period between Thanksgiving and New Years and hope that most of you are deep in your program and that not even the holidays will take you to that slippery slope.

The Serendipity Team has worked hard the past month to bring you articles and stories about physical recovery. This is not to say that the emotional and spiritual are any less important but there are times when we need to focus on physical recovery equally. Obesity has reached epidemic proportions and we are its targets.

Spotlighted in this issue of Serendipity is HOTJ, a support group for morbidly obese men and women. From the Founder's Corner to the Recovery Stories of the members of our community you will read what life is like for those who have hundreds of pounds to lose - or who have had the good fortune to release that amount of weight.

Wishing you all happy and abstinent holidays and hope you enjoy the December issue of Serendipity.

Best wishes to all,
The Serendipity Team

It has been almost a year since I became an administrator of TRG. How the time has flown by! What I've seen during this year is selfless service -- from loop trusted servants to meeting leaders, other adminstrators, and of course, the founder of TRG.

I am in awe of the way the Traditions teach us to solve problems by using group conscience. I'm grateful that OA has made changes to recognize our meetings. I'm humbled by the Power of the groups -- a form of my Higher Power.

My wish for 2005 is that even more compulsive eaters will be shown a way to live without eating compulsively. My wish is that every meeting will have a leader and every loop will have a full slate of trusted servants in order to help carry the message of OA to those who still suffer.

I also want to express appreciation to Mary and Cody, our two wonderful Administrator Apprentices.

Thank you all for a wonderful year.
Dodee, Administrator

Although there are openings for trusted servants on some of the loops in Recovery, sharing has been good. Newcomers continue to find their way to the loop, get their questions answered and join other loops. Anorexia and Bulimia has had renewed sharing. Big Book is studying "To Employers." OA Friends continues to thrive as members share their daily lives. HOTJ has had wonderful discussions about fallacies of our thinking pre-program. Jo Dall is doing the last month of her quarter leading the WTS Step Study and a new study will begin January 1st. Relapse and Recovery sees members willing to begin again. JTR and Recovery are rebounding from a quiet time.

Please consider doing service on your home loop. Service is what makes "the" program "your" program.

Submitted by:
Dodee
Chair ~ TRG's Recovery Loops Division

The groups which are part of the Discovery Loops are continuing to grow and develop under the leadership of Division Leaders Mary W. and Cody.

There are two loops on the kids side of things which Cody coordinates; COKids and Kids & Discovery. Kids & Discovery is a loop only for kids and trusted servants. It is a warm safe place for children with eating disorders to discuss their recovery. There is always adult supervision in the rooms so kids can feel safe to share their innermost fears with fellow compusive eaters. Please join us!!

COKids is a loop for parents, grandparents, or basically anyone who needs help helping a child who eats compulsively. Parents can reach out to each other, and together with Cody, all work together to help our children. All in all it is great that we have these loops for people to discover and find when they are in need! Exercise & Discovery, which is coordinated by Mary W, is a place of 12-Step Recovery where you can check-in with your exercise goals and accomplishments with fellow loopies, as well as make a commitment towhat you plan on doing asfar as exercise goals as well. All are welcome!

Discovery Kitchen is a loop where people can discuss food, recipes, and food plans freely. Since so many loops restrict the discussion of specific foods, this has become a safe haven for open questions and discussions about specific issues. What a wonderful place for creative and fun receipe trading to take place!!

The Yellow Brick Road is a loop where folks can journal, chat, or just have a safe place to talk with each other about ANYTHING. If you need a place to write, vent, or share your story, without any guidelines this is the place for you!

Submitted By:

Cody and Mary W.
Chairs, Discovery Loops Division

WE NEED MORE LEADERS!! There are quite a few meeting timeslots that do not have a designated leader and we need to fill the gaps so that more meetings are available to more people who suffer with our disease.

To be a meeting leader you need to:

• Belong to at least one TRG loop
• Be willing to work the steps
• Be able to commit to leading one meeting per week on a regular basis
• Be able to commit to, and follow, the protocol and guidelines advised by TRG
• Attend a short Meeting Leader (On-Line) Training course
• Be reasonably familiar with your computer and the meeting room environment

A holiday gift for you :)

The AABB page 89 says:
"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from [compulsive eating] as intensive work with other [compulsive eaters]."

TRG Sponsors have shared the following thoughts about their service as a sponsor.

• "I sponsor so I can recover."
• "It saves my life by sharing these steps with others who are still suffering."
• "I think the quality of my recovery would deteriorate if I wasn't sponsoring."
• "I sponsor because I cannot keep my recovery unless I give it away."

• December 25 ~ 24 Hour Holiday Marathon
• December 26-31 ~ Register for 2005 Abstinence
• January 1, 2005 ~ WTS Study Begins
• January 1, 2005 ~ TRG Term of Service Begins

**Warning - Specific Foods Mentioned**

My Saturday morning meeting reads and shares on the book, "Abstinence." Recently, we made a decision to devote the Saturday before Thanksgiving to the topic of Abstinence during the holidays. We would read and discuss the appropriate parts of that book and share our personal stories of getting through the holidays.

I was online recently and saw a link to Holiday Menus so I went there. I found a couple of menus devoted to foods that were NOT terribly fattening, but were filled with healthy and exciting items. I began to print out some of the recipes. Then I got this assignment. Isn't it amazing the way our recovery is filled with concentric circles!

Holiday eating can be filled with pitfalls and dangers. One holiday season I went to my hairdresser. She sat me down in a dryer in front of a table of goodies. Right in front of me was a platter of fudge! Fudge is the ultimate binge food for me. I decided I could safely eat one piece. Six pieces later I was rearranging the pieces on the platter so no one would notice what I had eaten. Before my hair was dry I was off and running on a full-fledgedrelapse. The first bite is what did me in.

The holiday dinners don't have to be filled with binge foods. Here's one of my favorites from the recipes I'm taking to our Holiday Abstinence meeting:

FIELD SALAD WITH TANGERINES, ROASTED BEETS, AND FETA

2 beets (about 1/2 lb.)
1/2 t. grated tangerine rind
6 cups gourmet salad greens
1 cup tangerine sections (about 3 tangerines)
1/4 cup crumbled feta or blue cheese
1/4 cup fresh tangerine juice
1/4 t. black pepper
1 T. fresh lemon juice
2 t. extra virgin olive oil
1/8 t. salt
1/8 t. Dijon mustard

I am not a stupid, undisciplined, lazy, uncaring and selfish people person. I am a good person who happens to have a disease that, even withconstant attention, often gets the best of me.

I am a public high school teacher in Florida and know that the problem weface as COEs is not a respecter of persons. Some of those who are facedwith the same problem, but have not had the privilege of a formal education, need to realize that being smarter is not a cure for our problem. Everyday we work on what ails us. We work hard! People don't know how hard we work! But work hard we must. This disease will not go away, we can only learn to live with it and bask in the few victories we have.

I inherited a set of genes from my mother's side of the family that I've just had to learn to accept. That does not make me (or my mother) a "bad" person. There are many uncaring people who are slender, and they neverhave had to contend with what we have had to deal with. Small or large - we've all got to cultivate the caring, loving, giving side that God has so richly blessed us with.

~ Anonymous

My name is Nancy, and I am a compulsive overeater. I returned to OA after a four-year relapse a little over a year ago. I was at my bottom. I was depressed, angry, fearful, hopeless, spiritually dead. I did not want to die, but I did not want to live the way I was. My eating was so out of control that I thought of little more than what my next meal would be. I had four orthopedic surgeries in an 18-month period of time, all related to my obesity. I did not want to see people. I was ashamed of having gained all that weight back. At this time, I topped the scales at 372 pounds. The thought of needing to lose 200 pounds was overwhelming to me. I failed at everything I tried, and believe me when I say I tried EVERYTHING!

On October 11, 2003, I contacted the pastor of my church and asked for a special prayer. It would surely take an act of God to help me out of this hole I had crawled into. I thought I had been cured. God had come down and removed this obsession of mine! However, I soon found out that there were things I had to do on my part too if I wanted this recovery. I realized I needed to go back to OA where I had some success before.

When I returned to OA, I came in the doors with a different attitude. I was willing to do ANYTHING to get the help I needed. I got a sponsor. I worked the steps. I went to meetings. I used all of the 8 Tools of OA. Slowly my life began to change. At first I noticed that my attitude was different, more positive. Soon I began to experience the weight loss. I once again felt hopeful that there was a solution!

After about nine months, I began to slip and slide with my food again. My sponsor was relocating to another state, and I would need to find another one. I was terrified because I knew what could happen in short order. I struggled to find more recovery. In my home town, there was only one OA meeting per week, and we were small in number. I knew this was not enough for me. Soon, I learned that there were online OA meetings. I was doubtful at first, but I had nothing to lose by checking it out.

I attended my first meeting and knew I was home. I quickly connected with a wonderful woman who agreed to sponsor me. My sponsor has been a God send. She has extended herself above and beyond the call of duty to help me. We began to work the steps. She taught me how to use the tools of OA whenever I was in trouble. We talk on a daily basis through Instant Messaging. We have become more than sponsor/sponsee. We are good friends.

To date, I have lost 105 pounds. I attend meetings regularly. I lead meetings on a regular basis. I work the steps. I use the tools of OA daily. I sponsor other compulsive overeaters. Whenever a new problem arises, I am not afraid to talk about it with my sponsor and share at the meetings. I turn it over to my HP, and almost always find a solution. Today I am truly grateful for the program of Overeater's Anonymous. It has literally saved my life. Today I have hope, peace, serenity, joy and true happiness that comes from within. My recovery today is more than just a diet. It is a new way of life. Thank you, OA, for helping me to get my life back and become the person God always meant for me to be.

~ Nancy T.

I have been to so many places that didn't have a chair for me to sit in that I just quit going places if I could get out of it, I remember once going to Kentucky Fried Chicken in another town to meet my parents for lunch and I couldn't sit in the chairs. There weren't many people there and I pretended it didn't matter and I could just stand! I was so embarrassed!

Some of the staff at school are going out to eat tomorrow night but I gave them the excuse that I had to babysit my grandchildren. My son is graduating from high school this year and he has asked me to please lose some weight so I will feel like going to his graduation. This is six months from now and I can't even go one day without overeating. The idea of going anywhere always gives me a feeling of dread and fear.

~ Anonymous

I have been an overweight since I was a teenager. My compulsive overeating kicked into full swing when I was in college, but the pattern existed long before then. I can remember, as a child, how my eating was never quite the same as other children my age. But there was also something deeper that I didn't touch on until I was an adult. I had a very strong need for touch. Even with my high school boyfriends and crushes, I was needing to be touched. To be satisfied. I don't know if I will ever be completely satisfied.

A long time has passed since those childhood days, and I have since married and have had two children. There is a fire within me that burns constantly. I used to think there was something wrong with me...that normal women didn't have the needs that I had. Normal women pushed their husbands away at night. They didn't have affairs. They didn't constantly have a yearning for sex. I also thought that my sexual feelings were so strong because sex had been a missing link in my life.

My husband was/is not enamoured with the fuller figure I carry. He instead prefers a woman of a smaller build. He has made these feelings known. To me, sexuality is acceptance and having a partner who wants to touch your body, even if that body isn't perfect. It is the ultimate in acceptance. And the touch, when it is right, replaces the negative self image with a positive loving self image. My relationship with my husband has never been based on touch. It's always been a struggle and has always been painful. I often thought that if our sex life was better, our marriage might be better. I am a loving, sensual person... and that is whether I am overweight or normal. So the problem might not stem in the fact that I am overweight.... but more so in the fact that my husband seems to have the problem with my body. I am still the same person, thin or heavy.

~ Anonymous

~ FROM THE TWELVE-STEP LITERATURE ~

~~ FROM THE BIG BOOK ~~

"You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. Near you, alcoholics/COES are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous/OA. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.'"

~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 152~