Anonymity Follows Humility

Anonymity is an important issue, and the word has many meanings. For me, anonymity is an extension of humility, reminding me that I am the same as everyone else in the room - no better, no worse.

When I was in program 25 or 30 years ago, speakers' meetings were popular. If you had pep and had some abstinence behind you - as little as two months - you might be invited to join the speakers' circuit. Those of us on the circuit thought we "got" the program and could do no wrong. Other phrases from that period were "living on a pink cloud" (thinking you had a personal blessing and special compensations) and "the rise and fall of the OA superstar." My pink cloud glowed - until relapse.

I had several years of relapse before returning to OA. I struggled with the program until I finally understood humility. Until I could accept my common humanity and leave being a god to God, until I could leave my pink cloud and walk with my fellows on earth, I did not have humility. Once I found humility, anonymity followed. My serenity and abstinence became more constant and stronger in my life.

Reprinted from OA's Lifeline, January 2000, Volume 28, No. 1 (Anonymous, Sharpsburg, Georgia USA)

Healing Rainbow

The candle flickers in the room
The flame dancing widely to dispel the gloom
That lurks within the darkened walls
As that fatal cloud begins to fall

The colours emerge from the dancing light
Creating a rainbow, a beautiful sight
The yellows and reds create a bright ray
The start of the rainbow for the new day

As the eyes pry open to spy a new day
From beneath the warm quilt, I see the display
A beautiful rainbow rising up to the sky
As the last drops of rain fall on the land so dry

The sadness and gloom are quickly dispelled
As the rainbow shines right into the bed
My body is filled with the warm gentle hues
Filled with peace and wisdom I can start anew

Anne

For the Newcomer

Dear Newcomer,

Congratulations! You have already gotten Started in recovery! You realized you have a problem, you realized you needed and could ask for help, and you did it!

So, take a breath. The hard part is over. Or maybe just beginning. Just keep breathing and moving, breathing and moving. How do you get recovery? There is a plan. It includes the twelve steps. It involves the twelve traditions. It uses a set of tools of recovery including: a plan of eating, meetings, literature, sponsorship, writing, service, the telephone and anonymity.

You develop a plan of eating and follow it. You may do this with the help of a professional or a sponsor. You go to meetings to meet and share with others about recovery and what works. There you learn more about the steps, the traditions, and using the tools. Also at meetings, you may meet the person who inspires you, who has something you want, and ask them to be your sponsor. Your sponsor is your personal guide through the OA program. He or she will work one on one with you and help you in understanding and practicing the steps and traditions and using the tools. Along the way you will be asked to read OA literature and to write about what you read and what happens in your life and how you feel to gain understanding of yourself. You will be encouraged to phone others who are traveling the path of recovery from compulsive overeating, both to learn from them and to gain encouragement for yourself. This is one way to be doing service; you will be asked to do what you are willing to do to help others. And you get to do all of this practicing anonymity, respecting each others process.

Newcomer, you have started. I have done a great deal of my recovery work through sharing on this loop with others and with a sponsor on the loop. I have just this past week hooked up with someone from my face to face meetings who is now sponsoring me. So, don't despair if there are no meetings in your area, YET. :o) If there are local meetings or meetings within driving distance {I determine driving distance for a meeting by asking myself what was the furthest I drove to get my favorite junk food} do go. Go to more than one to learn as much as you can. See if one group fits you better than another. Meanwhile, connect on the loop. At least once a day, tap into the experience, strength and hope that is here. Sometimes, when one is struggling or concerned, one will ask for help on the loop. {And I ALWAYS get what I need, maybe not what I want :o) when I ask for it. } You may even decide to ask someone online to be your sponsor. There is a list, but don't limit yourself to the list if someone else really attracts you, let them know and ask if they would be willing to work with you. You may be doing them a service just by asking.

Recovery is available for you. This program works, but you get to work the program. When you do work the program, to the best of your ability, you will be amazed at what happens. GO FOR IT!!!

Love, Janet H.

Body Image

As I was reading about body image, and I admit in the past I was one with no satisfaction with what God chose to create . . . me. Me legs too short me butt too wide me freckles bothering me. So I know today God chose a path where I needed to see .. He opened my eyes.

In 1971 while yet a young and pretty nurse, albeit one with dissatisfaction with my mortal image, I found myself assigned by our government to care for my fellow man/woman who could not care for themselves. I entered this large institution which was home for 300 adults who at the time were labeled profoundly mentally and physically retarded. Today we are kinder with using the label challenged here. I found people who were crippled . . . who needed help to eat and dress. Many had cerebral palsy and were in wheelchairs. Most of them required staff to help them attain their basic God given needs for life. I stayed for 10 years in work there, and some of my fellow nurses outside this home would offer slanted remarks at lunch to me about where I work as opposed to their work. Those without empathy and faith, and there are all kinds of people. In 1984 I had to leave these saints who had so little physically and intelligently compared to me . . . since my husband was transferred here. But today I know they were the ultimate teacher for me to appreciate what is the simplicity of life and gratitude for how I look today. I miss these people, and I hope some day when I close my eyes in death as some of them already have, they will be there to greet me as I'm sure their spirit will be more beautiful than mine. And to me that is what really counts! Since there was a time when I had more to live with and I was blind . . . and yet could see. Coming into the rooms of recovery has opened my eyes more profoundly each day as I learn the Spiritual Life process has no levels of beauty.

And I publicly thank my God for teaching me this through them . . . and here online . . . through you.

When I settled here, I found myself working still for our government . . . this time in a jail for incarcerated men. But that's another lesson God chose to teach me.

In Harmony, Addy

Once upon a time I used to be "Ruler of the World." Honestly! I truly was "Queen of the Universe" .... the CEO of Planet Earth. The world would have stopped spinning if I had stepped off. Who else would see to it that everything ran as it was supposed to run if I didn't do it? Who would make all the decisions? No one but me. Or so I thought!!!

As I got deeper into recovery ... and especially after I worked the first three steps of my recovery program ... I began to see that the world would get along quite well if I became an observer rather than a participator. How was this possible? It was shocking to know that my children could function as well or even better without my guiding their every step. It was a revelation to know that my husband could take out the garbage without my telling him where the bags were. And my friends and associates could even manage without my writing down everything for them and giving them a list of instructions.

"Hmmmm," I said. "This is a pretty good deal. I'm not working as hard. I rather like this." The flip side of that, however, was that, after years and years of doing things "my way," I had to relinquish that right and let others do it "their way." Jeez! Surely someone is going to mess things up. So I became a little anxious. But it got easier. The kids got to school on time. My husband found the garbage bags. And the list of instructions became shorter and finally no list was required at all.

I began to look at myself. To "go within." To see the place that my addiction had taken in my life. I now had time to see just how unmanageable my compulsive overeating had caused certain areas of my life to be. I believe that I filled my life with so many other things ... that I became the "Ruler of the Universe" just so that I wouldn't have to look at MYSELF and face my own problems. I admitted that I was powerless over my addiction (food) ... and that my life in this regard had become unmanageable. I had never done that before.

But IF I wasn't going to continue being "Queen of the World" .... IF I was "powerless" ... IF my life was unmanageable .... how was I going to survive? What was going to restore me to sanity?

Dear God,
Each day help me to realize
That it is not left up to me
To decide everyone else's path
In this lifetime. Help me to know
that I am only responsible for ME.
And that there is even a greater power than I.