Master, my eyes look up. I have no self-control, but I have you.
Lord, my life is locked tight with my failing and faults. Rescue me!
Dear God, I'm weary of sinís effect. I'm tired of my defects. Please take me to a better place in you.
God, as I draw nearer to you and abandon my old ways, please show me yourself: your desires and your will.
Heavenly father, hereís my broken life. Please help.
Talk to your sponsor everyday!
If you think you have "nothing to say", write her/him anyway!
Step six principle is willingness, we have to be willing to change if we want a better life. Simple, but not easy.
I usually see my defects of character as old tools that are no longer useful to me, but very harmful. I once needed those tools in my dysfunctional family, to survive physically, mentally and spiritually. But as time went by, I dintí only survive I started to rotten from inside, because I was not living, I was only existing.
Like nuclear weapons, they once serve a country status, power, control and destiny over many humans, in time they are leaking and destroying the soil, the humans and the international politics. My character defects are my own personal nuclear weapons, they poison me, those around me and all created by God.
I need to widen my perspective, to understand short time fun and personal control is not long term serenity or prosperity for me or others.
Itís fun to be angry when I can always have my way, but in time I have no friends. So how fun is it really?
Ask your sponsor to help you sort out your list of character defects. We don't need too many, we need the main ones, the patterns. And most important, what is behind them?
Fear is not a character defect; codependency is not a character defect, in desperate need of love in not a character defect. They are results of growing up in dysfunctional families or not having our needs met. A character defect means wrongly expressed side of your personality (mental or moral qualities that make a person, group, nation etc. different from others -dictionary).
Because I fear not being loved, I control myself and others. Control is a character defect in me. By controlling situations, conversations and what happens, I am not allowing my self or others express them selves freely. I "steal" what could have been, with what I can manage to consume.
Instead of control, I can practice acceptance. I am allowing life to be, on lifeís own terms (not mine).
Because I fear anger and confrontation I lie. Lying is a character defect in me. Lying is also controlling, but must be written as a separate defect, because I must practice the opposite, honesty.
Step 6 guarantees:
You will clearly see what you need to change in yourself.
You will have a job assignment.
You will come to understand that defects were developed for a reason, and you are not mean.
You will come realize what you can not longer afford to participate in, for your abstinence and serenities sake. As we read in the Big Book, this luxury is not for us..(beginning of chapter how it works)
It was enough that we be willing to do the legwork, and be open-minded about what the result would be. Godís grace would give us freedom from the burden of our old self. In humility, we understood that we were only being asked to get out of Godís way, so that, with our cooperation, Godís work could be done in our lives.
Keep up the good work, keep posting!
All the best to you,
The Twelve Steps
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